I'm college student studying psychology in the thriving metropolis of Geneseo, NY (it's funnnny cuz Geneseo is bitty baby town). I like movies and music and TV and friends and puppies and art and coffee and sleeping and sarcasm and singing and eating and random dance parties.
So ya know what's fun to do when you're bored? TAKE PHOTOS. Ya know what's fun to take pictures of if your face is butt ugly like mine? YOUR FEET. I didn't realize this till recently but I've done this a lot. Somehow I have ended up documenting many parts of my life via feet photos.
Look. it's the Deathly Hallows part II midnight premiere. you can tell from the schoolgirl knee-highs.
Check it out. The first nice day at Geneseo. It probably snowed the next day, though, so I'm not sure it counts.
Tracking the progress of my tan. Nice, right?
The first snow. See how it nicely mixed with the mud to make that great kind of slush that everyone just loves. Yum, slush. Anyways, I think we built an epic snowman that day so it's all good, slush or not.
I hope this is true. Or my life is a lie.
I'm a very neat and tidy person. This is evident by the pristine condition I keep my pants in. You'll notice the lovely plaster accents I've added to put some extra pizazz in my wardrobe. If only I had a bedazzler my life would be complete.
Look how shy my feet are. You can tell by the inward angle. They are embarrassed by the mess of styrofoam I've left after carving a pistol out of a chunk of styrofoam.
Now these feet are stressed and exhausted. Too much studying. You can clearly tell this from the feet...not the open textbook with highlighter.
You know you have friends when you all take pictures of your feet together.
LOOK!!! It's the Jefferson memorial. What a sight. Them be some niiiiice floors.
1. Those are some sexy ass gym shorts. 2. I think I wear converse too much.
So mom, I'm really glad you're moving into the 21st century and everything but you can stop sending me pictures of your breakfast cereal. Yes, I know Cheerios are delicious.
Seeing my parents work their smartphones is just sheer hilarity. My mom just got rid of her flip phone and now has a touchscreen droid. Watching her text is cute, sad and hilarious all at once. She puts the phone on the table and uses her pointer finger to click each letter. It will take her about a minute and a half to send a text. Then when you get a text it's in jumbled sentences with "U" and "R" replacing "you" and "are." Somehow my mom also discovered some program to add smileys to her texts. Like really dorky ones that do motions and stuff. I feel like I'm back in the age of AIM when I text with my mom.
So my mom may not have completely mastered texting like a normal person but she seems to excel at using games on her phone. I made the mistake of introducing her to Words with Friends. Don't go thinking she's beating me or anything cuz I'm totally kicking her ass, but she will respond within two minutes of me sending a word. When we are in the same room she'll be like "Hey, hey, honey, did you get my word? Did you respond yet? Well why not?" Geesh, we are in the same room, why don't we just play scrabble?
My mom also seems to be taking full advantage of her cellphone's camera. Now she has a camera, not a fancy one but a good point-and-shoot one. She'll have her camera in her pocket but she'll whip out her cellphone so she can take a picture and mass text it to all her friends and family. It's really great when you're the subject of the photo. It's also great when you're the recipient...thank you mom, I was wondering if you bought boots today; that's nice, a teddy bear; oh Aunt Erin got her foot operated on, that's nice...HOLY FUCK how many stitches are in that thing?!?!
Parents, can't live with 'em, wouldn't be alive without 'em.
So if you know me you know I'm clearly a rebel. All the way. This is totally a true fact...anyways, since I'm so pro at rebelling I thought I'd share some tricks of the trade.
~work at starbucks? wear green nail polish at to work (fyi, totes against the starbucks dress code) FUCK DRESS CODES
~don't know the answer on a fill in the blank question? pretend to have bad handwriting, write something that looks like a word. FUCK FILL-IN-THE-BLANK. FUCK HANDWRITING.
~cloudy out? wear sunglasses anyways. FUCK CLOUDS.
~listening to the radio in the car with parents? belt out Rihanna's S&M. FUCK AVOIDING AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS.
actual photo.
~pale as an albino? study outside for four hours without sunscreen. FUCK AVOIDING SKIN CANCER.
both these hands are mine. no one else will hold my hand.
~have bad taste in music? play it loudly in Starbucks. FUCK GOOD MUSIC.
~good at making friendship bracelets? make some and give them to yourself. FUCK ACTUALLY HAVING FRIENDS.
So somehow the internet becomes way more interesting when you're procrastinating or avoiding some sort of responsibility. Am I the only one who can't just sit down at the computer and start wasting time? The internet only draws me into its web when I have a paper to write or when it's 2am and I should be sleeping. Besides the generic distractions of Facebook, Tumblr and YouTube the internet is full of other websites that will slowly steal your life. You look at the clock one minute and it's 11:15pm, no big deal, you have a little time to kill. Ten seconds later you look and it's 2:45am. When the fuck did that happen? Well if you have trouble finding internet distractions on your own (poor 21st century noob) I have a cure for this: INTERWEBZ WEDNESDAY!!! Every Wednesday I'm gonna try and post some sort of internet fantasticness that will keep you all kinds of occupied. It may be games, shopping, videos, news, comics or puppy photos.
Hmmmm...now where to start??? Okay lets take a magical tour of Etsy.
Now lots of people know of Etsy's awesome selection of handmade and vintage items. If you don't know about etsy and you have any interest in online shopping you should check it out. You can find jewlery, decorations, painting, art, art supplies, cards, clothes, food, trinkets, knick-knaks, chatchskis, and literally anything you would possibly want. I mostly check out girly-ish artsy stuff or nerdy stuff but they have super badass stuff too like kick ass pocket knives, Doctor Who stuff, Indiana Jones hats and like anything else you could possibly want.
Anyyyyyways the part that most people don't know about Etsy is that you can take the "taste test." With this they give you a set of six items and you choose the one you like the most. If you don't particularly like any of them you can ask for different items. It goes through this process nine times and then does some magical magic stuff and spits out a list of items it thinks you will like. Sometimes it's creepily accurate. You can take it again if you don't like your results the first time or just because it's amazing and you wanna experience the magic again. It's kinda hidden away so you have to search for it so you probably wouldn't stumble upon it on your own. Luckily I have this handy dandy link: click me, i'm a link.
So I doubt there are many people left on this planet who haven't heard of Rebecca Black's "Friday." Now we all love to ragg on Miss Black for her horrible song with stupid lyrics, bad singing and a very strange video. But let us take a minute to think about how she got to where she is today...
Her parents spent $4,000 to Ark Music Factory to make their daughter a star. $4,000!!! My car only cost $800 and it's a car. For $4,000 I could get 5 cars, or one car whose windows actually roll up and down, but that's besides the point. So I'm just picturing little 14 year-old Rebecca singing in the shower and all around her house. Her parents hear their daughter and her mom says to her dad, "What a talented daughter we have!!! We should share her talent with the world. It would be selfish not to." Dad responds "You are quite right honey. Hey maybe we should take the money that we've been sticking in the garbage disposal and treat our little cupcake to some internet stardom." So that's how they end up at Ark Music Factory. They hand over their money and the company whips up a song and puts together a cute little video. No big deal, right? So video and song are a bit uh different, the kid driving the car is about twelve but at least the song teaches us the days of the weeks. Not like it's a big deal, not that many people are gonna see it...wrong. BAM 167million views, over 3million dislikes. Sorry, Becky, but ya know "no press is bad press"...
Anyyyways everyone already knows about "Friday." The video has come and gone and it has left its impression on us. Who doesn't break into "gotta get down on Friiiday" when they're getting ready for the weekend? Or is that just me? But I feel like people have been distracted by "Friday" and missed out on the other wonders that Ark Music Factory has put out. Under the YouTube name trizzy66 Ark has put out lots of other videos by teens just as talented as Rebecca Black.
One of my favorites is "Girl Swag" by Madison Bray. What a talented young lady, and a feminist at that. What a tiny BAMF, check out the pink hair and leather jacket. She's also very mature for her age, I mean she has her own Beamer.
So Indiana Jones ranks pretty high on my list of role models. I've clearly been following in his footsteps as evident by my extremely interesting and exciting life...annnnnyways, he is just awesome.
His awsomeness analyzed:
He has a double life: college professor by day and INDY-FRICKIN-ANA JONES by night. My double life looks something like: less than enthusiastic college student by day, starbucks barista by night (bad-ass, I know).
He rocks a fedora like no one else could. At the top of my wish list is an Indiana Jones fedora. They are just so cool. Unfortunately, I don't think I'd have the gumption to wear one in public, although I have worn one and I gotta say, I rocked it.
He carries a whip. I like that. I had a whip once. I got it taken away. I still make the whaaa-chh sound though.
I used to play online games all the time. But time goes by and you move on...or at least you think you do. Let's be real though, that just don't happen. One night of procrastinating and I'm addicted to dopey online games. Addictinggames.com is the main culprit for my addiction. I would say the site is aptly named because it has stolen many hours of my life and though I may regret wasting time after playing games for hours I always come crawling back for more. There are games that will keep you entertained for hours if not days no matter who you are or what your tastes in games.
oh girl, cargo pants? don't you know Tommy likes fishnets?
One game that has caught me in its web and is sure to draw in any girl out there is Stylish Gril 2. Now you may be tempted to try Stylish Girl 1 but resist. It's just not worth it. Now Stylish Girl 2 on the other hand is fucking AMAZING. Trust me on this one, I'm an expert, I've played through it five times. I like style and dress up and stuff but dress up games are usually really lame...ooooh click and drag the shirt. yawn. But this one knows what's up. There is a plot, strategy and it is not easy. Really, I had to put in legit effort. In the last level Emily is totally a bitch, she just can't be pleased. I stayed up till 5am playing this game. It's just so great. It may seem better when you're sleep deprived but I'm pretty sure it's awesome at normal hours of the day too.
Movies often don't live up to their book counterparts. This is a known fact. But when they took my favorite childhood book, Ella Enchanted, and made it into a movie they must have put all their energy into making it as horrible as possible.
The book is about a teenager Ella who was "blessed" with the gift of obedience when she was a baby. This obedience only causes her trouble through her life especially with her evil step-sisters (okay evil step-sisters seems a bit cliche but I swear the book is awesome). This book is awesome; I mean it won a Newbery Honor. So I won't give it all away but the book is just a great mix of fantasy without seeming unrealistic. I mean, the characters seem like real people but they just happen to live in a land with fairies, giants and ogres.
Ella is a strong character who bends the rules of her curse. Yes she has to obey orders but she finds ways to rebel. I remember one example: when she was told to make her step-sister a bouquet she makes the bouquet but puts poison ivy in it. Hey, it's still a bouquet just not a very fun one. Anyways, she ends up falling for a prince (as all fairy tale characters do) but she knows she can't marry him because she would put the kingdom in danger if she was in a state of power but still had to obey everyone no matter what. The rest of the book is her coming into her own and trying to get rid of her curse so she can live a normal life. Reviews praised the book and described Ella saying, "She is a strong and intelligent role model—instead of taking her
misfortune sitting down, she marches off to rid herself of the
troublesome curse."
Now onto the movie. That abomination. I think the people who made this movie just put the book, rejected rainbows, and some moldy fairy dust swept off the Miramax studio floor, liquefied it and projected it on the silver screen. So book teaches girls that they have power over their destiny. The movie tells girls that eveything will turn out okay even if you're weak and helpless if you just sing about your problems and wait for a handsome prince to save you. In the book the romance was just a secondary plot to defeating the curse. The movie changes the ENTIRE PLOT!!!!! The movie is about romancing the prince and defeating the evil uncle who is trying to take over the kingdom. This uncle dude doesn't even exist in the book. He is a poorly written horrible character who adds nothing to anything. Another terrible thing about this uncle guy is that he's played by Cary Elwes...the hunktastic guy from The Princess Bride. Well the schmexy masked hero from my childhood is gone. Time has transformed him into a chunky middle-aged man who it's hard to look at.
THIS
did not become THIS.INCONCEIVABLE.
Oh movie, why you ruin everything good in the world?
I doubt I'm the only one with music on their itunes that they've never listened to or possibly never heard of. But somehow I ended up with 41.5 days of music. I've only listened to 6.4 days worth. This leaves 35.1 days of music left that I haven't listened to. I am determined to listen to every single song that makes up that extra 756 hours worth of music. This involves reliving childhood camp songs, listening to boy bands, reggae, musicals, jazz and top hits from the 60's. Well you could say I've expanded my horizons. I have never been a fan of rap. When people ask "What kind of music do you listen to?" I usually tell people "I like most music except super twangy country and most rap." Well whilst studying for three tests I listened to 2.5 hours of 50 Cent. By the end I got to thinking that it wasn't so bad after all. A little/extremely offensive but not bad. P.I.M.P, Disco Inferno and In my Hood got pretty good ratings by me. Consider horizons expanded.
I'm not sure how it happened but I've ended up with the top 100 billboard hits from 1950 to 2010. There are some super interesting songs from way back when. Example: from 1961 there is the super catchy Who Put the Bomp. Also good In Spite of Ourselves (lyrics of gold), 1,2,3 Red Light (song from 1968 that's catchyyyy and kinda hilarious. That poor guy just wants to get some), and a personal favorite Does your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor (clearly fantastic, just look at the title). And now that I've shared these golden oldies you can expand your horizons.
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