So I've been into lists lately.  So here's one for yall. 

Random Good Stuff:

• The first sip of cold water after brushing your teeth.
• The way your teeth feel all smooth after brushing your teeth.
  
• Brushing your teeth in general. Toothpaste is yummy.
• Chapstick.  Cherry. 
• Hugs on your tip toes.  Good hugs.  Tight, real hugs.
• Singing in the shower. Okay, everyone knows this is great, but still let's not forget about it. If you don't sing in the shower I don't even know what to say, just leave, leave life--you're doing it wrong. 
•  Falling asleep while reading.  You're not even trying to fall asleep but suddenly your eyelids are closed and you just can't open them. 
• The five minutes after you hit snooze.  Clinically proven: best sleep ever. Okay, not really, but I know it is.  
• Wearing high heels around the house.  No one sees you but you feel bad ass, although you look like a fool.  You're still in your pajamas.
• Biting your nails so they are all even.  Okay, biting your nails is bad or whatever but if you do it right and get all your nails nicely rounded and smooth only by biting them it is extremely satisfying. 
• Burping.  Shrek had it right: better out than in.  Not just like gross burping for no reason but a good deep burp you feel from your stomach.  
• Doodling.  Everywhere.  Notes.  Shopping lists.  Hands.  Legit, everywhere. 
  
• Typing threats to your computer when it stalls.  So cathartic.  Do it.  You'll like it.  I swear.
  
• Practicing your signature.  You have to get it right so you'll have a nice autograph when you're famous.  
• Looking at old photos from your life.  Be sure to check out middle school photos. They're hilarious. Everyone is awkward in middle school...or was that just me?
• Listening to country music in secret.  No one has to know.  What happens in your headphones stays in your headphones.
  
• Crying, just because.  It feels good.  You don't even have to be sad.  Happy crying is the best. 
• Blankets.  Stand up and wrap that blanket around yourself.  You are now a blanket burrito.  Deliciously snuggled. 
• Photobombing strangers' photos.  Your stupid face will be immortalized in their family albums for eternity.  
• Food stolen from someone else's plate.  Fries taste so much better when they're not yours.  Also other people's food doesn't have any calories, everyone knows that. 
• Eating an entire apple, core and all.  Nothing more badass than that, everyone knows you're not supposed to eat the core.  
• Getting mail.  Bills don't count.  Packages are even more exciting.
• Eating non-fingerfoods with your hands.  I suggest salad or pasta.  I don't suggest soup. 
• Putting on a sweatshirt right after it comes out of the dryer.  Double warm.
• Lemon slices in ice water.  Fancy schmancy.
• Faking a British accent with friends.  Hilarity ensues.
• Using creativity when cursing.  Uhhhh poodle skirts!  Bloody fuck monkeys!!!  That last one is a combo of creative cursing and a fake British accent.  Also "fuck" in that scenario is an adjective not a verb.  That would be gross.  
• The look of long hair underwater.  Instant mermaid status. 

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Terrible Tuesday: Starbucks Customers

So I work at Starbucks and overall it's a great job.  The people I work with are super nice and I'm surrounded by caffeine which is good.  But dear lord some things that customers do just piss me the hell off.  Soooo...LIST TIME!!! get excited.  It's time for a pissed off barista's mini rant.

• So the drink is a "passion tea lemonade" not "that red one" or "the passion fruit tea, but can you put lemon in that?" or "passion berry" 
• Frappachinos are not "Frappes" that is Dunkin' Donuts or McDonalds or something 
• When ordering a drink tell me the size you want first so I don't have to make you repeat the entire list of extra stuff you want in your $17.00 drink
• Don't order a drink if you have to be in class or catch a bus in five minutes.  No I can't bump you up in line, there are fifty drinks ahead of you that other people are waiting for.  
• If you order a sandwich on a busy day odds are someone else ordered the same kind of sandwich.  So no, we didn't write a completely different name on the bag...it's just not yours.  Yours is behind the fifty other spinach egg white wraps.  And we know when you take it anyways.  And that's just not cool. 
• No one cares if you get a complicated drink, we get those orders all the time, so you don't have to apologize.  
• Pour overs.  Don't be a dick and order a pour over.  When I suggest a decaf americano because we stopped brewing decaf at noon (which admittedly is a stupid policy) try it, it tastes pretty much the same.
• People make up names for drinks but not everyone knows what they are made of, so order them by recipe not by fake name.   "Captain Crunch Frappachino" (Strawberries and cream + toffee nut) "Oreo milkshake thing" (Vanilla Bean Frappachino with mocha and java chips)
• Baristas know when you bring in two week old cups for fifty cent refills.  
• Newest addition to douche bag land: asking for esspresso shots over ice in a venti cup (costs like a dollar something) then filling the thing the rest of the way up with milk from the condiment bar.  Apparently it's a ghetto latte.  But we aren't stupid we know what you're up to.  And okay, it's a clever way to cheat the system but if you're on a college campus and you're using your mealplan anyways the extra buck and a half isn't gonna kill ya.  

so those are just a couple of the things that people do that are awful, but most people are okay.  just those few ruin the reputation for everybody

The Many Adventures of Me and my Feet

 So ya know what's fun to do when you're bored? TAKE PHOTOS.  Ya know what's fun to take pictures of if your face is butt ugly like mine? YOUR FEET. I didn't realize this till recently but I've done this a lot.  Somehow I have ended up documenting many parts of my life via feet photos. 

Look.  it's the Deathly Hallows part II midnight premiere.  you can tell from the schoolgirl knee-highs.

Check it out.  The first nice day at Geneseo.  It probably snowed the next day, though, so I'm not sure it counts. 

Tracking the progress of my tan.  Nice, right?

The first snow.  See how it nicely mixed with the mud to make that great kind of slush that everyone just loves.  Yum, slush.  Anyways, I think we built an epic snowman that day so it's all good, slush or not.  

I hope this is true.  Or my life is a lie. 

I'm a very neat and tidy person.  This is evident by the pristine condition I keep my pants in.  You'll notice the lovely plaster accents I've added to put some extra pizazz in my wardrobe.  If only I had a bedazzler my life would be complete. 

Look how shy my feet are.  You can tell by the inward angle.  They are embarrassed by the mess of styrofoam I've left after carving a pistol out of a chunk of styrofoam. 

Now these feet are stressed and exhausted.  Too much studying.  You can clearly tell this from the feet...not the open textbook with highlighter. 

You know you have friends when you all take pictures of your feet together. 

LOOK!!! It's the Jefferson memorial.  What a sight.  Them be some niiiiice floors. 

1.  Those are some sexy ass gym shorts. 2. I think I wear converse too much.

Terrible Tuesday: Parents with Smartphones

   So mom, I'm really glad you're moving into the 21st century and everything but you can stop sending me pictures of your breakfast cereal.  Yes, I know Cheerios are delicious. 

   Seeing my parents work their smartphones is just sheer hilarity.  My mom just got rid of her flip phone and now has a touchscreen droid.  Watching her text is cute, sad and hilarious all at once.  She puts the phone on the table and uses her pointer finger to click each letter.  It will take her about a minute and a half to send a text.  Then when you get a text it's in jumbled sentences with "U" and "R" replacing "you" and "are."  Somehow my mom also discovered some program to add smileys to her texts.  Like really dorky ones that do motions and stuff.  I feel like I'm back in the age of AIM when I text with my mom.

   So my mom may not have completely mastered texting like a normal person but she seems to excel at using games on her phone.  I made the mistake of introducing her to Words with Friends.  Don't go thinking she's beating me or anything cuz I'm totally kicking her ass, but she will respond within two minutes of me sending a word.  When we are in the same room she'll be like "Hey, hey, honey, did you get my word?  Did you respond yet?  Well why not?" Geesh, we are in the same room, why don't we just play scrabble?

   My mom also seems to be taking full advantage of her cellphone's camera.  Now she has a camera, not a fancy one but a good point-and-shoot one.  She'll have her camera in her pocket but she'll whip out her cellphone so she can take a picture and mass text it to all her friends and family.  It's really great when you're the subject of the photo.  It's also great when you're the recipient...thank you mom, I was wondering if you bought boots today; that's nice, a teddy bear; oh Aunt Erin got her foot operated on, that's nice...HOLY FUCK how many stitches are in that thing?!?! 

   Parents, can't live with 'em, wouldn't be alive without 'em.

Tips for Rebelling

So if you know me you know I'm clearly a rebel.  All the way.  This is totally a true fact...anyways, since I'm so pro at rebelling I thought I'd share some tricks of the trade.

 
~just woke up? wear pajamas to class. FUCK WAKING UP.  FUCK PANTS.

~work at starbucks? wear green nail polish at to work  (fyi, totes against the starbucks dress code) FUCK DRESS CODES

~don't know the answer on a fill in the blank question? pretend to have bad handwriting, write something that looks like a word.  FUCK FILL-IN-THE-BLANK.  FUCK HANDWRITING.

~cloudy out? wear sunglasses anyways.  FUCK CLOUDS.

~listening to the radio in the car with parents? belt out Rihanna's S&M.  FUCK AVOIDING AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS.

actual photo.

~pale as an albino? study outside for four hours without sunscreen.  FUCK AVOIDING SKIN CANCER. 

both these hands are mine.  no one else will hold my hand.

~have bad taste in music? play it loudly in Starbucks.  FUCK GOOD MUSIC.

~good at making friendship bracelets? make some and give them to yourself.  FUCK ACTUALLY HAVING FRIENDS.

Interwebz: the all mighty distracter

   So somehow the internet becomes way more interesting when you're procrastinating or avoiding some sort of responsibility.  Am I the only one who can't just sit down at the computer and start wasting time?  The internet only draws me into its web when I have a paper to write or when it's 2am and I should be sleeping.  Besides the generic distractions of Facebook, Tumblr and YouTube the internet is full of other websites that will slowly steal your life.  You look at the clock one minute and it's 11:15pm, no big deal, you have a little time to kill.  Ten seconds later you look and it's 2:45am.  When the fuck did that happen? Well if you have trouble finding internet distractions on your own (poor 21st century noob) I have a cure for this: INTERWEBZ WEDNESDAY!!! Every Wednesday I'm gonna try and post some sort of internet fantasticness that will keep you all kinds of occupied. It may be games, shopping, videos, news, comics or puppy photos. 

  Hmmmm...now where to start???  Okay lets take a magical tour of Etsy.

 Now lots of people know of Etsy's awesome selection of handmade and vintage items.  If you don't know about etsy and you have any interest in online shopping you should check it out.  You can find jewlery, decorations, painting, art, art supplies, cards, clothes, food, trinkets, knick-knaks, chatchskis, and literally anything you would possibly want.  I mostly check out girly-ish artsy stuff or nerdy stuff but they have super badass stuff too like kick ass pocket knives, Doctor Who stuff, Indiana Jones hats and like anything else you could possibly want. 
   Anyyyyyways the part that most people don't know about Etsy is that you can take the "taste test."  With this they give you a set of six items and you choose the one you like the most.  If you don't particularly like any of them you can ask for different items.  It goes through this process nine times and then does some magical magic stuff and spits out a list of items it thinks you will like.  Sometimes it's creepily accurate.  You can take it again if you don't like your results the first time or just because it's amazing and you wanna experience the magic again.  It's kinda hidden away so you have to search for it so you probably wouldn't stumble upon it on your own.  Luckily I have this handy dandy link:   click me, i'm a link. 

TERRIBLE TUESDAY: Trizzy66

So I doubt there are many people left on this planet who haven't heard of Rebecca Black's "Friday."  Now we all love to ragg on Miss Black for her horrible song with stupid lyrics, bad singing and a very strange video.  But let us take a minute to think about how she got to where she is today...
   Her parents spent $4,000 to Ark Music Factory to make their daughter a star.  $4,000!!!  My car only cost $800 and it's a car.  For $4,000 I could get 5 cars, or one car whose windows actually roll up and down, but that's besides the point.  So I'm just picturing little 14 year-old Rebecca singing in the shower and all around her house.  Her parents hear their daughter and her mom says to her dad, "What a talented daughter we have!!! We should share her talent with the world.  It would be selfish not to." Dad responds "You are quite right honey.  Hey maybe we should take the money that we've been sticking in the garbage disposal and treat our little cupcake to some internet stardom."  So that's how they end up at Ark Music Factory.  They hand over their money and the company whips up a song and puts together a cute little video.  No big deal, right?  So video and song are a bit uh different, the kid driving the car is about twelve but at least the song teaches us the days of the weeks.  Not like it's a big deal, not that many people are gonna see it...wrong.  BAM 167million views, over 3million dislikes.  Sorry, Becky, but ya know "no press is bad press"... 
   Anyyyways everyone already knows about "Friday."  The video has come and gone and it has left its impression on us.  Who doesn't break into "gotta get down on Friiiday" when they're getting ready for the weekend?  Or is that just me?  But I feel like people have been distracted by "Friday" and missed out on the other wonders that Ark Music Factory has put out.  Under the YouTube name trizzy66 Ark has put out lots of other videos by teens just as talented as Rebecca Black. 

  One of my favorites is "Girl Swag" by Madison Bray.  What a talented young lady, and a feminist at that.  What a tiny BAMF, check out the pink hair and leather jacket.  She's also very mature for her age, I mean she has her own Beamer.